The unlikely Chemistry Student...

 

Through my early life, I had always been interested in science and mechanical/electronic things.  I had a microscope and a chemistry set when I was still in elementary school.  I suppose I got a lot of this interest watching cartoons and yes, dreaming of doing that one day.

In High School I never took chemistry because of the Math requirements involved (believe it or not I am not very good in higher math (Trig/Calculus/etc), however I do very well with Algebra/Finite math.   So in that regard I didn't have a chance in the world to take it.

I had started my second year at Ancilla College, where I had begun the year before.  It was required in the second year to have a science course, so that would have been either Biology or Chemistry.  I had no real interest in Biology, so I opted for Chemistry.  

I was informed that I didn't meet the prerequisites for chemistry, as I would have had to have had High School Chemistry.   However I was told I should go to see the professor, a Sister Erwin and she could grant an exception.

I knew her from the year before when I worked as a student working doing whatever to help pay for the books.   Many times that was mopping the floor and she was always sure I missed a spot, so I kind of held my breath and went to see her in her sanctuary -- the green house.    She wore a white smock coat with a big round button that read, "Be Reasonable, do it my way!"

She greeted me well and I explained what I needed.  She was thoughtful and said, "Yes, I will grant you the exception."   Success I thought.  So I went back to the registration office to finish it up and found to my horror that it was an afternoon class.   I worked 2nd shift and needed a morning class.  So we looked at the schedule and there was the pairing of Qualitative and Quantitative Analysis.  They were companion courses that you took in successive semesters.   However, they required College General Chemistry as a prerequisite.  I looked at the registrar and she said, "It can't hurt to ask, so I went back to see Sr. Erwin.    She thought it over and asked me what my major was.  I told her computer science and she said something to the effect of "Let's take a chance."

This course was a 5 credit hour class, which meant that you had class three times a week (Mon/Wed/Fri) for two hours each the first two days and one hour on Friday.  After which was lab time, which didn't count.  I have not heard since then of such a thing as a 5 credit hour class.

So the first few days of class I am hearing terms like Moles, Avogadro's number, Electromotive force, etc.  You can say it was like drinking from a fire hose and I had no idea what she was talking about.  This went on for about two to three weeks.   We always had to solve an assigned problem at the chalkboard and I was always the last one to sit (often times as she went on to start lecturing).  Well as is the custom for cancellation, the announcement was made about this time.   After the other students left I was informed that I was a failure in that class.  I replied, "Yes, sister I will be dropping!"  She told me "No you will not!  You  will come to my office for tutoring on Tuesday and Thursday until we get this mess straightened out!"   It took about a month, but by the time the semester was over, I passed with a B.  When I went to inquire, I was told "No Charity!"

The final was to analyze a liquid by reagent tests to identify which five elements she had thrown together and we had to identify them!  (the second semester was five solutions, first identify which element by reagent testing, and then the concentration by Titration -- No "Major Mass-spec")

When I went on for the 2nd semester we picked up a new student from my high school who transferred in mid-term.   He had done everything "the right way" by having the prerequisites.  Mid point in the semester we were doing something with Esters and the other student and myself from the first semester were sailing right along with it and this new guy was struggling.

Something you had to know about Sr. Erwin is that she plans things so you don't fail, provided you follow her rules and most importantly the procedure sheet.   This guy threw his away leaving the classroom and sister noticed that.   Now most of this were extreme copier fatigued and had been around for quite a while.

So when he asked us what he was doing wrong, we just said we had followed the procedure sheet.  Right on Cue, sister walks into the chemistry lab.   She approached this student and asked if there was something the matter.  He told her his experiment was not working out and she asked "Where is your procedure sheet?"  He told her he threw it away.  

Well she went from angelic sister to somebody you only heard about in movie references.  She let him know that she worked hard on those and he just "threw it away!"  Further she went on about his careless use of space and that he used the WHOLE SIDE of the bench.   Not long after this incident he dropped and she didn't stop him.

She was an interesting lady, more like a hacker of Chemistry.  Besides her faith and religion, chemistry was her way of life.

I met up with her about a year before she passed away in 2002 and she had recently had a stroke.  She remembered my face, but nothing about the particulars (mind you I worked for these sisters in a print shop and she and another sister shared the sink in my press room -- I always was getting reminded about clean workspace).  However when I mentioned the other student's name, she remember him perfectly.   

I will always remember the commitment and investment she made to me in that class.  I will remember the funny stories she told us when she was a student herself at St. Louis University and even when she taught the girls high school before Ancilla became a college.  One such day the girls replaced a square from the periodic table with one of their own inventions.  Erwinium!  It had a low melting point and other odd properties.

There was also the unfortunate day she decided that a very large (baseball sized!) lump of elementary Potassium needed to be gotten rid of.  It was in a jar of oil, but should that have failed would have caused big problems.   So she threw it into their lake!   Massive explosion and thousands of little "tongues of file" dancing on the water.   No fish for 2 years after that!  

Finally the best story is what a friend of mine told me.  Down the road was a minor seminary for boys that had closed and she was invited to come and check to see if there was anything that Ancilla could use before it was thrown out.   My friend was the caretaker /security person during the time it was empty and she went with him through the lab.   They went through a lot of things, tagging what she wanted and they chanced upon a bottle of testosterone in the back of one of the cabinets.   He asked what that was used for and she looked at him seriously and said, "Well you take and inject a little bit into a baby chick and it will then stand up and say "Cocka Doodle Doo!  Cocka Doodle Doo!"

Now pardon me if I soap-box for a moment.

I miss that level of commitment and if not that -- the genuine christian way that she demonstrated on a daily basis.   My more recent experiences were much different.  I would have stayed in the area had it not been for the fact that when I went to sit for an interview to be on a advisory board to bring back the Computer Science program, I was roundly told my experience was "out of date" and couldn't be of any use.  As the the then alumni director and I walked out he said to me "I led you to your own execution."  That's about the way I felt about it and continue to.   What I found laughable is that most of what they were saying at the time was itself out of date.  It resembled things you heard in the early 1980's when mainframes were being pushed out in favor of distributed computing (IE: PC's). 

A lot has changed and evolved since then and even companies like IBM can re-invent their platforms for a new age.  Academia it seems can not.  I told the story recently at work and one of the more senior people told me, "our tool box has to be large because of the applications we run. Having just one operating system is not only silly, it's inefficient."    Even Microsoft has embraced Linux (the new Unix) not only in their cloud platform (Azure) but also in windows itself as a subsystem.  Balmer who called Linux a "virus" even came around to think differently.

At Blue Cross (which is representative of a large data center) we use all of those "Ancient" systems still because in many cases they perform the best.  Today those are hybridized into cloud presences and mixed environments (Unix and Microsoft windows working together, with an IBM mainframe crunching financial numbers.   One simply cannot prepare a student by saying "Microsoft is all you have to know!" and push them out the door.   The world is much more diverse that this.  Maybe not on the desktop, but certainly in the data center.  

So long as this spirit remains in that institution, it will not be one I will favor with good words (except those out of nostalgia -- when things were done right) or gifts.  They are on their own.